SPRING IS HERE.
Last. Year was all Topsy turvey.
So emotional------ and this year too. I don't every remember losing such sleep before. Being so on going distraught. Being so ok and peaceful and then so distraught again.
Will this particular mental adjustment never end?
Maybe this healing process will make me a better person.
There are rays of hope
I am starting roo dream about fabric again. Starting to listen and watch how to video's. Starting to think, and play,
I know this is all worth it. I want to make Heaven. Thought that I was alright till I discovered that hidden fester of anger in my heart. Just got to work this all out.
Saturday, April 8, 2017
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
9 days and counting till our 50th wedding anniversary. The fullness of that statement stuns me.
It's been a tough year emotionally in so many ways.
Lion's cousin died in 2015. He and his family were who we came to see in 1974 in this country. This country that made my skin crawl just looking at the sagebrush. Now I look out and wish the fire hadn't burnt so much sagebrush. I look out and am just in awe and thanksgiving that we have got to live here in this beautiful land that I love and so appreciate.
Betty his wife and long time sister in the Lord and friend died in January. A few days later I walked out the back door in the ice and did an upside down dance that resulted in a broken leg.
Healing was easy. The mental strain was harder.
Rehab was and is an ongoing process.
With April came a revelations that I was only very minutely prepared for. It's still a burden that cost me many a slèepless night though many of the tangled thoughts bouncing around in my head
Have been minutely examined, discussed and I am more at rest and feel love in all my ways.
It's just the helplessness to bring all to a conclusion.
But life just keeps spinning, so busy, so much to do.
And in a few days we will celebrate love.
Such wonderful love, surviving,uplifting, comforting, enduring, painful, exhillerating love, sad, happy, mournful, fulfilling love.
Thursday, December 3, 2015
Well, its been HOW LONG and I finally managed to get back to my blog.
The fire came through after that last post and wiped out previous creativity, currant activity
the entire house and a stash that was sooo lovely, It also wiped out all guilt, shame and pretty much hope to ever be me again.
I have discovered that if fire burns down a tree, some trees will come back from the roots. Their first leaves are huge and somewhat tender, but then the stalks start to grow. Thats what I am seeing and I am hoping that in the new year alot of them will be doing fine. We are having a wet fall-early winter,
so I am hopeful.
And I hope that that holds true with me. That I can revive,survive and so on. I have a sewing table, a mat, new ruler, and thanks to a whole bunch of wonderful people from all around the world, a new stash. Audrey and I made it to the local area shop hop and I added some personal selections to the stash. I had great plans. My eyes are much worse than they were. I am wondering if I will be able to function at the machine.
The new machine is a Janome memory craft 6300. I used it in the single wide trailor house that we lived in while our New HOUSE ON THE HILL was being built, and loved the feel of it when I put the "pedal to the medal" so to speak.
The new table is a 'cheep" one compared to the Horn that I had, but hey, I am old and won't wear it out, and its laid out as I want. My daughter Jan bought me an ott light, a tall one with a huge magnifying glass on it that I can flex into proper direction. Sewing was a pleasure in the trailor. My only attempt here, I couldn't see the needle. But persista\ence paid off, but seeing what I was sewing?? I still haven't sewn in this house. we have been here 7 months. I think that I am chicken to try. But I have also been very busy setting up my office, having company, shopping for essentials, making thousands of decisions and thats my excuse.
I think that I am so terrified of not being able to do it-- that I won't try.
I do not admire fearful cats!
But I have started "dreaming" of designs and fabric colors and layouts.
Today I finally got back into my lost blogs. Tomorrow????
Monday, July 7, 2014
Think I have been overtaken in a whirlwind or something. Something anyway that turned my life inside out.
Nothing terribly tramatic, just bouts of sickness, influx of kids, grandkids, mustdo's, camping and stuff like that. All normal, interesting, stimulating, exhausting and so on- but off a "Moma does her own slow easy thing "mode.
I wondered into the quilt room this morning. Well, I have been in there off and on last week, but took a real gander at it this morning.
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
After 15 years of having the same e-mail, microsoft accounts, hotmail accounts whatever has taken me on one mind blowing trip It has been nearly 2 months since I could get on my blog.
Talk about wanting to smash things!
Anyway. Nothing to post tonight really. Housefull of family, graduations, camping etd. You noticed I did not get my Bonnie Hunter quilt done. Guess for now I will put it in the UFO pile I am still trying to pot my pots for the deck and put some more plants in the garden and of course it is wedding month and anniversary month for so many people.
Guess I will just see what kind of life I can actually recover-- but not tonight.
Just glad to be back and ME
Thursday, April 3, 2014
I really think it is time to take a break from this and do a refresher with something else. But will I just be pushing this stuff into the UFO bin? I don't want that. Maybe I can promise my self a break AFTER
I finish chevrons or set some kind of "break it up, and go back" goal plan.
Will think on that.
These nice spring days are lulling me I think. Just wanted to sleep all day today, so back and forth kitchen, sewing, genealogy office work. Can't stay put. I did drag out some 4" pots to bleach so that I can pot up tomato and pepper plants. All things needy-- but I need to get this quilting project going.
Hmmm. Guess that I will sleep on it.
Saturday, March 29, 2014
After a blitz of the "Yuck" some nasty virus, I am back to popping into my sewing room for a little rest and relaxation before anyone gets up,and sometimes later.
All of the 24 blocks of the 54-40 or fight type are done, ironed and in a box. I am counting the blocks done toward the border of this "Bonnie Hunter" mystery quilt, and that means that I amjust past the half way mark to a finish piecing job.
I have mixed emotions. When I lay the blocks out, I like them. Bright and good movement there. When I am working on it, I am wishing that I had added more fabrics. I get bored with the sameness of this.
Yesterday, I cut out and counted and recounted all the 200 rectangles I needed to make the chevron blocks. For now I am going to hope that the 2 " squares of yellow and neutral are at least close to enough. This morning I sewed body parts, chain stitching, and then put 8 of the chevrons together. Even scrappy, they are not exciting, but look not too bad either. I have actually finished enough chevrons for two of the 25 blocks that I have yet to make. I think Bonnie calls this her Birthday block.I will reserve judgement on it. I like the little triangular corners. I do not like or at least very rarely like pinwheels.
I also had to add another print to the bit of half triangle blocks that I am making to "maybe" frame my vintage looking center fabric up on a design wall. One night, a sleepless beginning and the mind not resting, I climbed back out of bed and went and rooted around my stash until I found a soft blendy rose, and pink kind of nothing fabric and layed it out to add into my design wall quilt. Then went back to bed and slept like a top. It is funny how the mind is working when you don't even realize it. I DO realize that mine must work in super slow motion! Well, we will see where it leads me down what path with this quilt.
I came home from town the other day with another stack of 5 project boxes to sort body parts and store made blocks and things of projects that I am actively using from time to time. That gives me 10 of these boxes now. And when I get the "notion" I will kind of rearrange these piles of fabric in there to make room for a little temporary fabric storage in there. I threw out a plastic 3 drawer thing that I bought one summer about 6 years or so ago when 2 of my grandkids came for Ok to stay 3 weeks, and then on second thought hauled it into my sewing room for tempory storage for new fabric. Or maybe I will put UFO's in there instead and use my tall little drawer stacker for fat quarters? Hmm. I will wait for the brain to work on that one.
It is a bright and sunny day outside with drifting occasional black rain clouds, Just a nice springy time day. So think I will go play with my poultry and do chores and make just a very little gardening motions music.
My son is building me a series of 3 compost bins and I can't wait to pile them full of stuff to decompose! Except for the fact that I will have to overcome my inherent laziness, that is!
I wonder if thats what I am doing in my sewing room? Making more compost bins?